This piece holds great value to me. Why? Because I composed it while lying in bed, enduring intense discomfort.
I began the piece two days after Valentine's Day in 2026, and exactly four days after a medical procedure, while lying on the bare floor in discomfort. Six days later, I completed it. I was reflecting on my life and various experiences along with the lessons I had learned... with my phone in hand, I started writing words until I arrived at this piece. I hope that the result of combining pain and kindness helps you and directs your thoughts toward what truly matters, because if you dismiss it as insignificant or nonsense, it might actually be revealing another story, one that tells you about the possibilities of the situations you may face in the near future and what you may be dealing with. This is essentially saying that you need to position yourself now with the wisdom that will place you in the top quarter of those who practice intentionality and thoughtful decision-making.
To achieve any level of influence and significance in life, you need to be someone who is deliberate with your thoughts, actions, and personal growth, as what seems unimportant today could become a significant issue tomorrow with serious consequences. Another truth I've found, which has also supported me at different stages of my life, is that the lesson capable of transforming your life will likely arrive wrapped in a package that only a strong sense of humility and the consistency of practice can open, examine, and make use of.
You might have come across this, perhaps overused phrase: "Don't judge a book by its cover." I'd like to share a variation with you. Don't judge a person until you begin to truly experience them. As humans, we tend to be more emotional than logical, particularly in relationships. So, am I suggesting you shouldn't have your own opinions about someone or something? Not at all, but continue reading and let me explain.
If you tend to judge others without personal experience, you will end up with enemies that don't deserve to be yours. You might miss out on meaningful relationships with people and the wisdom, blessings, and connections that God intended for you through them. Remaining open-minded until the truth is proven otherwise and being ready to accept verifiable facts is the way to genuine influence. Don't wait to gain power or authority before considering how you can positively impact those around you.
There exists a human error, a form of behavioral training, and a mental constraint that we often encounter. This phenomenon is known as confirmation bias.
Holding a preference for individuals or certain matters is not inherently negative. Every person on the planet assesses situations based on their reasoning, a collection of values, and a particular perspective. However, this point of bias must always be checked against higher universal laws, principles, and enduring moral standards. Without this, a person may ultimately become lawless and act according to their own rules.
This is where purpose, considering outcomes, and modesty play a role. No one in the world achieves greatness through luck alone and maintains it through chance.
A confirmation bias refers to a pattern of thinking or mental inclination where individuals tend to seek out, interpret, prioritize, and remember information that aligns with their existing beliefs or assumptions. It involves approaching situations with a preconceived perspective aimed at validating those views, rather than objectively evaluating them. This tendency can cause you to ignore or dismiss conflicting information. As a result, it reinforces your current, often inaccurate, opinions. It functions automatically and is especially prominent when dealing with long-standing beliefs or emotionally significant topics such as sex, love, religion, politics, personal preferences, tastes, or even sports like football. It also emerges when you are determined to demonstrate the correctness of your stance regarding a person or situation.
The risk associated with this mental state is that it tends to overlook the positive aspects of others. Within all your confirmation biases, there's a strong possibility that the balance between a person's virtues and flaws will be poorly assessed. Your judgment is likely to be unreliable. And that's not a place you want to be, especially as an individual or a leader in influence.
Whenever a speaker claims someone is arguing without thinking, take a closer look; it could be that confirmation bias is causing the lack of depth. The term "blindness" doesn't always refer to physical sight; rather, it indicates a person's inability to recognize or accept ideas that differ from their existing beliefs, even when presented with strong evidence or better logic.
Have you ever found yourself in a scenario where you learned something about an individual, and your initial encounters with them end up reinforcing the preconceived notions you already had? This happens even though you haven't invested enough time to truly grasp the person's background, experiences, and connections that might influence their behavior or choices.
It gets even worse if you already have a reservation or negative feeling towards someone before you begin to receive 'revelations' about them. This situation occurs when you continue to gather proof over time with the person, all while interpreting and interacting with them through the lens of long-held beliefs that you consider to be true, whether they are actually verified or not.
Your life's path needs guiding forces and supporters. Let's envision this together. If, due to unfortunate connections surrounding you or negative thoughts in your mind—those that the devil has set up against you to mislead you about your supporters—would you allow your journey to be delayed for 40 years, when it could have been completed in just 11 days simply because you didn't deeply reflect on things? With this realization, now picture yourself as the supporter that God has already designed for another person. Why should they waste 40 years wandering in the wilderness when they could have completed their journey in 11 days because of your perspective on them, which is often not proven beyond a shadow of a doubt? Even when it is clear, you can be the one who reaches out and lifts the person from that difficult situation.
If only we were slightly more cautious and thoughtful, if only we applied our intellect and examined our thoughts, choices, actions, and even our perceptions, we would consistently identify our errors before they occur and prevent them. Our awareness of the potential of our human constraints should always prompt us to reflect on our own beliefs and inclinations.
Certainly, I understand that you may be silently wondering, "What if someone consistently displays traits like stubbornness, arrogance, and intellectual pride, and has become somewhat unyielding and unwilling to change?" I know, some individuals are referred to as children of perdition. There's often very little you can do for them from a place of love. However, this is not the case with prodigal sons, especially those who are still open to guidance and support because they remain adaptable, responsive, and capable of learning through either life experiences or mentorship.
If you hold a position of influence and control anywhere, always keep in mind that it's not just about yourself. God placed you there for a purpose. Typically, this is to assist others in their growth, just as you have grown with the help of others. Avoid letting the enemy plant ideas of quick judgments. Do not base your decisions only on unverified assumptions, as the future depends on your choices. This is a significant responsibility that we cannot leave to chance. Each of us has a duty of love towards one another to lift each other from the pile of our imperfect past actions, errors, and limited experiences by utilizing the knowledge, experiences, and roles we possess.
Uncontrolled perceptions, particularly confirmation bias, subtly undermines influence, fate, leadership, and personal connections. If you are going to hold firmly to an opinion about someone, make sure it's a positive one. Allow others the responsibility of continually demonstrating that you're mistaken. Avoid being the person who constantly seeks to validate a negative assumption.
I am aware of how God's compassion has rescued me from embarrassment, dishonor, and losses on multiple occasions through individuals. At times, these were people I had not anticipated would assist me. It is positive to observe people in their optimal state, rather than focusing on the negative aspects you might perceive.
The most straightforward barrier to create and the most challenging to overcome is perception.
Our knowledgeable ancestors have stated, "a single word suffices for the wise."
So, please, thank God for me—I survived a C-section…oh, sorry, an appendectomy on Thursday before Valentine's Day.
- Taofik Sanni serves as the communications director at PUNCH Media Foundation.