Sitting at my laptop writing an email to my manager with the subject line "change of circumstances," the scale of ourmove from London to Scotland suddenly dawned on me.
This was the summer of 2021. The UK was beginning to recover from the pandemic, and my husband and I – accompanied by a newborn and a toddler – decided to throw ourselves intothe comfort of a life shaped over fifteen years in London, to rural Scotland.
In the risk of sounding like a Covid stereotype, we felt it was the right moment for a transformation. Being Scottish, I had always wished to go back to my native country. My husband comes from Essex – I had never imagined I could ever convince him to move to anew existence 400 miles to the north. However, the thought of working outside the city suddenly seemed possible (he's aself-employed graphic designer).
There was also nothing similar toworking from home, while caring for a young child, within the walls of a small former local authority apartment in Peckham, highlighting our increasing need for more room.
And along with the ongoing sounds from neighbors and the hum andexcess traffic pollution, life in London had started to seem confined.
It also felt less secure. Once, when my husband confronted a group of young men breaking bottles outside our home, they started throwing them at our door. During a shooting near the local park while our toddler was playing, I began to question whether the place I had considered home for so long was still the same place I wanted to raise my children.
Having two young sons, our way of life and values have changed. We no longer had the same chances to experience the city as we did before, so it became increasingly unreasonable to pay extra for that.
And thus, four years later, here we are. In a quaint, picture-perfect village nestled between Glasgow and Loch Lomond.
Are we happier?Relocating to the countryside has certainly provided us with the space we desired. For slightly more than the cost we incurred for ourtwo-bedroom flat in London, we own a four-bedroom standalone house with a spacious garden where our sons can play and move around.
We are near quality schools, and although my friends in the city describewaiting for a doctor's appointment for weeks, we can obtain one on the same day. For now, and if our children decide to, they can attend university at no cost.
Nature is truly right at our door. Our house is located at the top of a peaceful residential hill, at the base of the Campsie Fells. We enjoy beautiful views of lush, mountainous landscapes, and just a short drive away, there are numerous breathtaking lochs perfect for kayaking andwild swimming.
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The daily commute to school – on days when the weather is pleasant – involves a charming stroll through the bluebell-filled woods behind our home, where the children enjoy rope swings, leap over scenic streams, and it's common to see deer.
But before I become like Maria from theSound of Music, there are downsides. Scotland’s inclement weatherIt is well-documented, but experiencing it is entirely different. Being close to nature is undoubtedly beneficial for the spirit. Enduring months of heavy rain—definitely not as pleasant. I now have more raincoats than socks.
In reality, there is such a great dealrain there are more than a hundred words used to describe various types of precipitation, ranging from "driech" to my favorite – "smirry" rain – that light drizzle that appears harmless but somehow ends up soaking you.
It's reasonable to assume that the school drop-off is typically done by car and the wet, gray days doaffect my mood. So much so, that my spouse felt the need to purchase me a "sad" lamp to assist me in dealing with the winter gloom.
Then there’s friendships. Upsetting your entire life can initially make you feel there's too much empty space. Life before was a vibrant tapestry stitched together over manydecades of fostering, developing, and strengthening relationships. We moved through careers, relationships, marriages, and children together. And, through shared experiences, we gained a sense of security and belonging.
Following our relocation, we had to begin anew and I have been surprised by the sense of isolation that has occasionally emerged. During the planning phase, my thoughts were focused on the logistics and the thrill of what was to come. I didn't give much consideration to how I would connect with others or discover "my group."
In the initial years, friends from London would repeatedly ask, "Have you felt at home yet?" and I experienced a small sense of unease when I truthfully replied, "Not quite, but we're making progress."
The reality is that it requires timefriendships To establish and make your life take hold in a new location. We have had some wonderful friends from the start, but after nearly four years, I would say we are only now beginning to feel at home.
I've turned into a "joiner," which isn't my usual nature. I volunteer on the school's fundraising committee and have become the mom in the parent WhatsApp group who arranges get-togethers.
A book group In a nearby village, there have been many lively conversations, laughter, and some much-needed weekends away from the routine of daily life.
Friendships in this place are also more intergenerational compared to what I encountered in London, bringing a new depth to my life that I hadn't experienced before. In a group of women from my neighborhood— who sometimes meet up over excessive amounts of wine—the youngest is in her mid-thirties, while the oldest has just retired. One of my strongest friendships is with a woman in her late seventies, someone I connected with when we created "boob" vases in our local pottery class.
There is also a stronger feeling of togetherness here. A more relaxed lifestyle encourages people to take time to greet each other and spend a moment together.
When we initially came to the village, we received numerous welcome cards from our neighbors. The elderly man living next door shares his yearly harvest of cucumbers and tomatoes, and children are able to move freely between homes with minimal concern for their safety.
Individuals rely on one another for minor favors, whether it'shelping out with childcareor encouraging and backing local activities. Furthermore, contrary to what is commonly thought in the south, my husband never receives more than light teasing for being from England.
I've heard individuals express dissatisfaction with the limited facilities in rural areas, as though it's surprising that there are more cows than cocktail lounges when you leave the city. And indeed, it's true that there are fewer choices for dining or grabbing a drink. The absence of Deliveroo services following a hectic week has, I must admit, been somewhat frustrating at times.
Culture is also less approachable. Although relatively close toGlasgow, entering the city can seem like a costly and complicated challenge when considering child care and taxi services.
I have attended a total of two music and three comedy events since we moved here. Theatre visits have been limited to the likes ofThe Cat in the Hat and The Smeds and Smoos, so they don't really matter. I still go to the cinema and I'm optimistic that things will improve when the kids are older, allowing us to regain some control over our lives.
There is a belief that living costs are lower here compared to elsewhere.London It's accurate that dining out or having a drink is cheaper. However, during our time here, the costs of energy, food, and fuel have all increased. Additionally, since we have to drive everywhere, we now own two vehicles.
Individuals in Scotland who earn over £30,318 pay a higher rate of income tax compared to those in other parts of the UK with the same earnings. Ourcouncil tax It is more than three times what we spent in London, and a larger home requires more maintenance.
However, these seem like a reasonable compromise for the lifestyle adjustment we aimed for.
Do I still hold the same nostalgic perspective on Scotland as I did previously? Maybe not.Every place you reside comes with its disadvantages.. But it has been perfect for us, and I am certain that there is no place on earth more beautiful, regardless of the weather. And now that it's home again, I get to experience it with my young family. I'd exchange the midges for a Deliveroo though.